This is me

Today I want to tell you a little bit about myself, so we can get to know each other better. Some of my writing is quite opinionated, and yet I rarely share personal details. And maybe, just maybe, knowing more about me will help you understand me better. Still, I am not planning on divulging every little detail about myself – I merely want to tell you a few things worth knowing.

Starting off with something a lady hardly ever speaks of: my age. Currently I am in my twenties, even though I feel a lot older every now and then. And I’d wager that I’ll have to accustom myself with this feeling, since I am in the teachers training program and will be dealing with teenagers on a daily basis very soon. My two subjects are German and English – no, I am not crazy and no need to look quite as shocked 😉 As my subjects already suggest, I am quite good with words and languages, but I could have pulled of Maths just as well – I think 😀

Words have always played a huge role in my life. In fictional worlds I have encountered the most beautiful ones, in the real world I wasn’t always as lucky. Reading was always a dear hobby to me, in a time when it was considered anything but cool. This and the fact that studying comes easy to me, made me a bit of an outsider – especially in the beginning of my school career. All I ever wanted back then, was to fit in and sometimes I bent over backwards just to belong. Nowadays I see the folly in that and I deeply regret it, since it kept me at some point from doing what I loved.

One of the reasons why I love university so much: I can be whoever and whatever I want to be and everybody is ok with that. You cannot believe what a freeing experience this has been for me. I now feel much more grounded and centered, which is a feeling I embrace. Especially since it has taken me a long time to find my balance.

My life has always been rather normal and I was absolutely fine with that. I have been a confidante and a rock for my friends since I can remember. But then my own life changed dramatically and I had to learn to ask for help. When my parents got divorced, I was only 14 at that time, my whole world collapsed and my childhood abruptly ended. I was merely holding on, bottling everything up. My beloved father, my hero, was so lost after she left, and I had to be strong for him. We got through this together, but it took a huge toll on both of us. Now he is happily remarried and my stepmother is absolutely amazing. We have become part of a huge patchwork family and embraced it.

I love my stepmother and she is a much better partner than my mother ever was, but I just couldn’t forgive my mother for walking away and then acting like nothing happened. Initially I decided to stay with my father for purely logical reasons only, but at some point I realised that there was just no room for me in her “new life”. So I decided to cut all ties, simply to protect myself from getting hurt over and over again. And until this day these ties remain cut. By now I am glad that she is no longer a part of my life and I couldn’t be happier. Counseling has helped me to find the positive side again and I’ve been clinging on to it ever since.

I am the sum of everything that happened to me – good and bad, mind you. And despite everything, I am happy with where I am right now and I still would describe myself as a positive person. Yes, I am stubborn and sometimes a real smart ass (where did you think ladysmartypants came from? 😉 ) but I am also loyal, optimistic and honest and I do intend follow my path – wherever it may lead me.

With that I will end this short insight into my biography – I do hope it has been interesting for you and should you have any questions at all: I’d be glad to answer them. And I would gladly listen to your stories – If you feel like telling them, that is 🙂

Lots of Love,

Smarty ❤

2 thoughts on “This is me

Add yours

  1. Good morning, Smarty!
    You know what? I think we would get along just fine in real life. Or maybe not. They say, if you are quite similar you probably won’t get along. 😉
    Thank you for sharing this with me/us. I know about steppeople and it’s save to say that I love mine very much. You know the saying “Blood is thicker than water”? Apparently the real quotation is “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” Which means that the bonds you seek out yourself can be stronger than blood related ones. That makes me happy somehow. 🙂
    Have a great day, Smarty. 🙂
    LG, m

    Like

  2. Reblogged this on lady smartypants and commented:

    Hallo meine Lieben,
    bei mir geht es gerade auf die Prüfungswochen zu, weshalb hier etwas weniger los ist. Ich arbeite aber gerade an einer Rezension für euch, die hoffentlich am Sonntag fertig ist.
    Und falls ihr nicht mehr ganz so lange warten wollt: Ich habe diese Woche auf meinem zweiten Blog ein wenig über mich selbst und meine Vergangenheit erzählt, damit man mich etwas besser kennenlernt und vielleicht auch besser versteht 🙂 Schaut doch mal vorbei – würde mich sehr freuen ❤

    Like

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