Today I want to tell you a little bit about myself, so we can get to know each other better. Some of my writing is quite opinionated, and yet I rarely share personal details. And maybe, just maybe, knowing more about me will help you understand me better. Still, I am not planning on divulging every little detail about myself – I merely want to tell you a few things worth knowing.
Starting off with something a lady hardly ever speaks of: my age. Currently I am in my twenties, even though I feel a lot older every now and then. And I’d wager that I’ll have to accustom myself with this feeling, since I am in the teachers training program and will be dealing with teenagers on a daily basis very soon. My two subjects are German and English – no, I am not crazy and no need to look quite as shocked 😉 As my subjects already suggest, I am quite good with words and languages, but I could have pulled of Maths just as well – I think 😀
Words have always played a huge role in my life. In fictional worlds I have encountered the most beautiful ones, in the real world I wasn’t always as lucky. Reading was always a dear hobby to me, in a time when it was considered anything but cool. This and the fact that studying comes easy to me, made me a bit of an outsider – especially in the beginning of my school career. All I ever wanted back then, was to fit in and sometimes I bent over backwards just to belong. Nowadays I see the folly in that and I deeply regret it, since it kept me at some point from doing what I loved.
One of the reasons why I love university so much: I can be whoever and whatever I want to be and everybody is ok with that. You cannot believe what a freeing experience this has been for me. I now feel much more grounded and centered, which is a feeling I embrace. Especially since it has taken me a long time to find my balance.
My life has always been rather normal and I was absolutely fine with that. I have been a confidante and a rock for my friends since I can remember. But then my own life changed dramatically and I had to learn to ask for help. When my parents got divorced, I was only 14 at that time, my whole world collapsed and my childhood abruptly ended. I was merely holding on, bottling everything up. My beloved father, my hero, was so lost after she left, and I had to be strong for him. We got through this together, but it took a huge toll on both of us. Now he is happily remarried and my stepmother is absolutely amazing. We have become part of a huge patchwork family and embraced it.
I love my stepmother and she is a much better partner than my mother ever was, but I just couldn’t forgive my mother for walking away and then acting like nothing happened. Initially I decided to stay with my father for purely logical reasons only, but at some point I realised that there was just no room for me in her “new life”. So I decided to cut all ties, simply to protect myself from getting hurt over and over again. And until this day these ties remain cut. By now I am glad that she is no longer a part of my life and I couldn’t be happier. Counseling has helped me to find the positive side again and I’ve been clinging on to it ever since.
I am the sum of everything that happened to me – good and bad, mind you. And despite everything, I am happy with where I am right now and I still would describe myself as a positive person. Yes, I am stubborn and sometimes a real smart ass (where did you think ladysmartypants came from? 😉 ) but I am also loyal, optimistic and honest and I do intend follow my path – wherever it may lead me.
With that I will end this short insight into my biography – I do hope it has been interesting for you and should you have any questions at all: I’d be glad to answer them. And I would gladly listen to your stories – If you feel like telling them, that is 🙂
Lots of Love,